Spread the ashes of the colours over this heart of mine.

What point of living, if not for love?What do you think you are living for, if not for love?When it all ends, will you think, I was free, I was rich, I was creative, I was famous?What of that feeling, love, that you dream of, that you hold dear, that you hope for and pray for and that you cherish and feed and grow with and are constantly surprised by?

The whole purpose of finding love is to escape the madness of the rest of the world, into an insanity of your own creation. An insanity where lovers are the sun, the centre, the explosion, revolving around each other and discovering billions of unexplored stars deep within each other's eyes.

How your sadness melted and turn to rivers which washed down the inside of your heart and began to give life to the green possibilities of tomorrow.?

More often than not, I find myself on a rollercoaster of expectation. Trying to fulfill a potential I believe exists within me, trying to live a dream within a dream and make something out of the circumstances that make up my life. Sometimes, I give up, judged a failure by the jury of myself, and sit at the end of the bedroom. no love, no philosophy, just numb me, numb me, now. But if I don't get this out right now, this moment will be lost. And this lesson is far too important,to me , to forget.

So I went up to the countryside, stayed with a thousand ghosts in an abandoned brick mansion in the middle of yesterday. I saw a shooting star, but I didn't have a wish. I no longer need a wish, I no longer wish that I had a wish. Now - the days are longer - when it comes over me - I let the music take me - and the ice that melts in the soul when at the peak the whole thing soars.- that's so beautiful - and it's a one woman thing which cannot be shared -

I'll be embarrassed by this, I know myself. I'll be angry and sore and hurting and I won't understand the meaning of what I write, and I'll read it back and think...you idiot.But I'll be wrong, and I'll know it.What purpose to life, if not love.

I've remembered something important.I hope you're safe out there, wherever you are.

I have fallen in love with you, have rediscovered the songs that have slept silent in my heart, have walked the secret tracks beside my home and have slept among dreams of golden summers and warm embraces, and through the shivers and death of encroaching winter, found that a simple smile and happy thought holds more power than a thousand words, a thousand reasons, a thousand whys, a thousand wonders.
i love you and i know you love me and thats all matter to me.



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